MTT Matchmaker
by Lyrium eidolon
Summary: Kurusu Kimihito needs to select one of the Monster Girls to marry. Who better to help him than the magnificent Mettaton.
1. Chapter 1: Kurisu Kimihito

**Disclaimer** : Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou and Undertale were created by Okayado and Toby Fox respectively.

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Chapter 1: Kurusu Kimihito

In the recently-established MTT Studio, an audience waits in anticipation for their star… including those who have only recently heard about the new artificial artist in their world. The lights illuminating the indoor theatre started to dim, soon leaving the whole audience in complete darkness.

"OH YES" sounded an electronic voice. Studio lights shone bright beams onto the stage, and the steam emerging from behind the curtain. "Welcome, beauties and gentlebeauties…" the smoke cleared to reveal a humanoid robot with black legs, pink boots, a pink breastplate, grey arms and a head with a unique hairdo, "...to MTT Station's new show…" a title flashed above the stage…

 _ **HOOKING UP WITH A KILLER ROBOT**_

"...with your host, Mettaton! Ready the roses and fetch the flower boquets, because tonight is going to be a ROMANTIC evening! The goal is simple: one lucky player will be paired up with a romantic partner through us. Our lucky man for tonight is… Kurusu Kimihito!"

A spotlight clicked on, revealing a human with black hair, a white suit, brown eyes and a very confused look on his face. Multi-colored confetti started raining down directly above him, while Mettaton clapped his hands. "Welcome, Kimihito-Darling, you ready to win a girl's heart?"

"Huh? Y-yeah," Kimihito stuttered.

"Why so nervous, Darling?"

"Well... I was told I'd be promoting Interspecies Exchange with my participation."

"Oooh la la! Indeed we are, hence your selection. My employee told me that you're the perfect candidate, considering your 'living conditions'."

"You mean…?"

"Oh yes! Kimihito has been living with SEVEN beautiful ladies as part of the Interspecies Exchange Programme! And tonight, one of them will be his fiancee. Or maybe… all seven of them will combine their SOULs to break down the barrier trapping his true feelings underground!"

Cheers roared from the audience in the studio, and the spotlight shifted back to the curtains. "However, MTT is always committed to giving customers quality merchandise, and we wouldn't want the ladies to be disappointed with the gentleman. Our first round will test his suitability for being a groom. Please welcome our impartial judges: Temmie!"

A four-legged, white cat-like creature with a dog's tail, one pair of cat ears and one pair of dog ears, a feline mouth, sleek black hair and a blue shirt stepped onto the stage. "hOI! I'm temmie!"

"Temmie!"

Another Temmie stepped forth. "hOI!"

"Temmie!"

A third. "hOI! Tems on tEEvEE!"

"Bob!"

A fourth. "Good evening to all viewers. I'm Bob."

"And finally… with a degree Tem Studies, please welcome Temmie!"

A fifth Temmie, with a graduation hat on her head, a yellow shirt and gray hair, stepped onto the stage. "hOI! tem study at colleg!"

"Well, Temmie, Temmie, Temmie, Bob and Temmie, what are your first impressions of our star tonight?"

"uwaWAWA! Human soooo... CUTE!" squealed the first Temmie

"yaYA! He CUUUTE!"

"yaYA! I agrees!"

"He's going to make whoever becomes his bride very happy, no?"

"he CUTE HUNAM!"

"Fabulous. First impressions are good from all five judges. But now is when we ensure that they give us a properly informed opinion. Judges, are you ready to begin your examination?"

"yaYA!" all five Temmies meowed, disregarding Bob's reply of "Most certainly."

"Kimihito-Darling, are you ready for the examination?"

"I guess."

"Very well! Let the quality control…" Mettaton raised his hand, "...BEGIN!" His hand cut through the air as he brought it down like a blade, upon which four of the five Temmies launched straight at Kimihito, pinning him down on the ground and petting him excessively with all their paws. The last Temmie, Bob, casually strolled to him and gave his head a slight pet when he tried to escape the chaos of the other four Temmies.

"Meanwhile, wonderful viewers, while Temmie, Temmie, Temmie, Bob and Temmie deliberate on the suitability of our guest, feel free to place your vote on how good a match he will make for the girls. Just SMS one of the numbers on the screen to 01 METTATON to cast your vote!"

A machine projected a graphic showing ratings in different colours

Red: 1 - NOT WORTHY OF BEING ON METTATON'S STAGE

Yellow: 2 - SHOULD BE THANKFUL HE'S IN METTAON'S PRESENCE

Green: 3 - NOT BAD. STILL NO MATCH FOR METTATON THOUGH

Cyan: 4 - GOOD QUALITY, BUT METTATON IS ALWAYS SEXIER

Blue: 5 - AMAZING. THE SECOND BEST PICK AFTER METTATON

"Be sure to cast your vote. After the break, we'll count the votes, find out what our judges think of our potential paramour, and meet one of the possible brides-to-be. Now don't go away."

"Help!" Kimihito's voice rang out from underneath the flailing paws of the Temmies...


	2. Chapter 2: Centorea Shianus

Chapter 2: Centorea

Studio lights turned back on, and the audience looked back onto the stage. This was it… the impartial judges were about to come to a verdict, and Mettaton was tallying the scores. Any second… the Temmies were very thorough in their assessment.

Meanwhile, in a different area of the building, a large cat-like orange creature was sitting behind a counter, trying to look at his computer screen and, in so doing, pull his gaze away from the large group of visitors in the waiting room. This whole event was a bit unexpected: so many interesting girls that probably had tons more interesting things happen in their lives, and yet his role was just to keep them in the waiting room until they were called. And continue making burgers the rest of the time. The latest growl from his stomach a few minutes into the wait told him everything he needed to know: Mettaton didn't pay him enough to skip meals. Retrieving a sandwich from one of the drawers…

"That's weird," spoke one of the girls; a yellow-haired half-human/half-horse. "Why is that person's food in the shape of a sword?"

"Ah, you haven't seen a Legendary Hero, little missy?" quipped the cat.

"How dare you! Who are you to address me in that manner?!"

"Attention, Burgerpants, attention Burgerpants," sounded an intercom. "Centaur Centorea Shianus is required backstage. Repeat: centaur Centorea Shianus is required backstage."

The announcement of his name led Burgerpants to witness some not-often-seen emotional ranges, from a blue bird-girl's look of confusion, the red snake-woman bursting into laughter while swishing her tail around her immediate vicinity (and incurring some property damage costs), the blushing of a pink-haired, wheelchair-bound mermaid, the centaur in question's slightly shocked look and, most unusual in his experience, the green slime's utter lack of recognition of his name.

"Centorea, missy, through that door," he ordered, indicating a door on the far end of the room.

"Do not belittle me with such a word! I shall go!" shouted the yellow haired centaur, galloping out of the room in the indicated direction.

Back at the main studio…

"Welcome back, beauties and gentlebeauties," announced Mettaton. "We're ready to announced the viewer scores of Kurusu Kimihito.

"First, from our SMS line, we have two scores of 4 from a Mr and a Mrs Kurusu, and two comments; 'He's a really sweet boy, but he should really think about himself once in awhile,' and 'I cannot believe it; I know the youth want to bring girls home with them, but this is just ridiculous! True love is hard to come by these days, however, so I'll let it slide'. Secondly… oooh, a 2? Let's see who this is… AnimalKing001, and a comment 'He stole my Miia from me! I will never approve of him!'. Our next score is… a 1? From Best-Match-Eva, saying "Can he even satisfy any one of them? What a joke'. Next score is a 5 from Agent_KS_EX, with comment 'A massive help with work especially when I'm underpaid, and to top it off, he makes the best coffee'. Next rating is… another 1, this time from XtraSpecsMan, claiming 'That kid has no regard for the wonders of harpy eggs and lamia skin, and when you think of that, it's no wonder he doesn't have much in the way of money'. Scathing. Final result: a 4 from Grillby, proprietor of the much-respected restaurant Grillby's, and a comment 'a toast to a successful romantic resolution for the young man'. So, from our SMS poll, we've got a 5, three 4s, a 2 and two 1s."

"The online poll … has 3 votes, and unanimously, we've got three 5 star ratings!"

"Tems ready to make pick!" declared one of the Temmies, all now standing in front of a spread-eagled Kimihito and facing the audience.

"Splendid. So, Temmie?"

"yaYA, he CUUUUTE. fOIVE!"

"Temmie?"

"yaYA, fOIVE!

"Temmie?"

"BLoo, yaYA!"

"Bob"

"I find him most suitable. Five."

"Finally, Temmie?"

"yaYA, he SMART, CUUUTE, fOIVE, fOIVE, fOIVE!"

"Splendid. A unanimous score of five from all of our impartial judges!" The crowd began applauding and cheering loudly. "Now, Kimihito-darling, what do you think of your rating?"

"I thought I was going to die," gasped Kimihito, breathing heavily.

"That's show business, baby! You'll get used to it. Sadly for now, we will have to say goodbye."

"Wha-?"

"Toodles, Darling!" A finger rammed into a large red button on a small remote, and Kimihito found himself falling through the floor. The next second, the trapdoor had resealed, and was now indistinguishable from the rest of the stage. The curtains had once again closed behind Mettaton, and the lights dimmed.

"Now, the first of our potential bride beauties will make her appearance. Hair as yellow as the sun that can create art as it flows in the wind, a top speed of 60 kilometers per hour that will ensure the breeze creates masterpieces, and a will only matched by the former Head of the Royal Guard, welcome to the stage: CENTOREAAAA SHIANUUUUUS!"

The curtains parted to reveal the golden-haired centaur cantering forward, head held high in the spotlight. The cheers from the crowd grew louder as she approached Mettaton, and the lighting returned to brightening the stage as a whole.

"Welcome, beauty-"

"I will warn you this once…" interjected Centorea, "I will not countenance any questions that carry perversion."

"Don't worry, my lady. MTT-brand content prides itself on being accessible for all ages, species and persuasions. However I think our wonderful viewers are dying to know: how do you rate your chances of ending up with Kimihito-darling?"

"Milord and I are destined to be together. We have been through a number of trials together, and through those, I have proven that I am worthy to stand by his side.

"Oooh, but the trials tonight will have you on your own. For the viewers at home, each of the potential brides will be judged by a three-monster committee hand-picked by yours truly. The first of Centorea's three judges is the Cool Skeleton, Aspiring Member of the Royal Guard (now disbanded), PAPYRUS!"

From a side door emerged a tall skeleton in white armor with an orange scarf and boots, running straight to a desk that emerged on the far right of the stage. Once he sat down, he looked towards the audience and announced: "THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS ARRIVED, READY TO HELP BRING PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER!"

"Our second judge is the Head of the Royal Guard (now disbanded) itself: UNDYNE!"

The same door opened, this time revealing a large, muscular, blue woman with fins for ears, an eye patch over her left eye, a yellow right eye and red hair tied up into a large ponytail, complete in her black tank top. Again, she walked to the table, sat down and addressed the audience: "Hiya, punks! Our contestant spoke about trials, so I'm gonna _put her through the wringer!_ "

"Finally, our third judge is a former sentry alongside his brother, in addition to being a performer at MTT resort, give it up for: SANS!"

The door didn't open. The audience became quiet, and then a few seconds later, all the lights began flickering. The next second, the whole building was plunged into darkness. The succeeding second, the lights came back on, revealing a short skeleton in a blue jacket with a wide grin on his face, already sitting at the desk, only speaking one word: "heya."

"How did you gain entry? I would have heard that door opening!" Centorea demanded.

"shortcut. i'm not one for dramatic entrances anyway."

"Shortcut or not, I would have heard something!"

"Now that our judges are here," continued Mettaton, "...they're going to ask our contestant questions and, as Undyne has already said, put her through her paces until they're satisfied in giving her a score."

"OHO, I'LL START," declared Papyrus. "CENTAUR, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?"

"Watch your tone, skeleton. We are proud knights in service to our masters, whom we choose for ourselves!" declared Centorea

"KNIGHTS, EH? I USED TO BE A KNIGHT LIKE YOU, BUT THEN THE BARRIER SHATTERED AND ALL OF US WENT FREE."

"You forgot to mention the part where you were still in training, Papyrus!" interjected Undyne. "Besides, it was 'cause of the war ending that we disbanded in the first place!"

"ONE CAN STILL DREAM OF BEING ONE!"

"Judges, can we get back to the contestant?" interjected Mettaton. "Sans, how would you like to ask a question?"

"okay. how did centorea and the human first meet?"

"It was a bright, sunny day," began Centorea, "and I was getting in my morning jog. As I did so, I ran into him and, in so doing, invoked an ancient Japanese spell that would ensure that we had gotten together."

"spell, huh? how does that one work?"

"It's detailed in a series of history books that if you charge into someone in an alleyway at full speed, they will become your soulmate for life. For a greater chance of success with the spell, it is best that you put a slice of toast in your mouth before starting your run."

"I remember seeing that spell in one of Alphys' history books!" spoke Undyne. "I never believed that I'd meet someone else who was proficient in that kind of wizardry! Ya got my approval for now, Centorea, especially with that gigantic sword on your side!"

"T-thank you, but this sword is merely a replica."

"Huh? You- you're kidding, right? What loser only carries around a replica sword?"

"Insolence! The Interspecies Exchange Bill prohibits us from wielding real weapons. You should know that, being an extraspecies yourself!"

"Ugh, minus a few points to the law for being such a buzz-kill. Whatever, big replica swords are still big swords, so I guess I still approve. Tell me, what would ya get for your groom as a dowry?"

"I hope to find a legendary artifact worthy of royalty."

"Ohhhh," began Mettaton. "I think we may have just the thing: MTT-brand happiness-ensuring legendary-garnet wedding ring! One of which…" a small pedestal began rising on the left of the stage, showing off a ring with a rectangular socket filled with a scarlet gem, "... is right over there on that pedestal, and is yours for the taking."

"D-do you speak the truth? What about the contest?"

"We can spare one ring. Don't worry about it, beautiful!"

Slowly, Centorea walked towards the pedestal, with the gem on the ring gleaming and awaiting her touch. She was now within arm's reach of it, and moved her hand towards the prize.

"Alert: you are carrying too many dogs," spoke a computerised voice, and a beam of light repelled the centaur's hand.

"What is the meaning of this? What dogs?" Centorea shouted as she began rummaging around her body. Eventually, she spotted something large in her back, giving her the appearance of a camel, and, taking care not to expose herself, extracted the beast: a small, white, furry, sleeping dog. She gently lowered it onto the stage, but, just as she withdrew her hands, it woke up and jumped straight onto the ring. Jumping off a second later, the dog ran towards the stage exit, leaving a shiny trail of small white crystals on the pedestal and in Centorea's hand and causing her to blush a deep shade of scarlet.

"How dare you… mongrel… the ring I was going to present to Milord…" Centorea hissed with rage, "...I will _not_ abide by such thievery…" she drew her sword "... _I will bring you to justice and get my sacred ring back from you!_ " and she charged after the dog.

"Wah, wah, waaah," sounded a trombone, and audience attention immediately diverted to its holder, Sans.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT WITH THAT INCIDENTAL MUSIC!" roared Papyrus.

"Anyway, beauties and gentlebeauties," spoke Mettaton, "...while Centorea continues her pursuit of the purloining Pomeranian, it is time to open up the lines and have our union-regulated break. Remember to cast your votes, because after the break, we will be meeting another one of our potential brides. Remember: 01 METTATON, and don't touch that remote."

Back in the lobby with the other girls.

The small white dog came bounding out of the passage to the backstage area and jumped onto the desk of Burgerpants, sending several Legendary Heroes flying in its wake, before bounding off through a door on the opposite side of the room.

In another flash, Centorea galloped into the room, sliced the heroes into many pieces and crushed his desk under her hooves on her way to the dog's exit point. When the dust settled, the only thing Burgerpants could think of was:

"I bet _this_ is gonna come out of my paycheck as well."


End file.
